You

This is a list of things that describe you
 * You are fat
 * You are lazy
 * You will never get laid
 * You still live with your mother
 * You have never been outside for more than a minute
 * You watch My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
 * You are 36 years old
 * You are a Brony
 * You can't read
 * You live in Alabama
 * You watch children's cartoons despite being a grown man